


A Sorting

by losthpfanficwriter (erbkaiser)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2019-11-26 05:52:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18176693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erbkaiser/pseuds/losthpfanficwriter
Summary: A young girl with her mind set on getting into Gryffindor gets sorted.





	A Sorting

The little girl sat down on the stool and the stern teacher placed the big hat on her. It fell over her face, covering her up to her nose. The little nose in question wrinkled in disgust at the smell, some of the children preceding her evidently had never heard of shampoo.

'Mmm, what do we have here?' suddenly a voice sounded.

'He– Hello?' she spoke up.

'No need to speak out loud dear, this is all in your mind.'

'Are you... the hat?'

'The Sorting Hat? Why yes, I am. Now let me take a good look at you, see where you should be sorted.'

'Gryffindor, with Harry Potter please,' she thought back.

'My girl, this is your sorting, not that of Harry Potter. And you are definitely not suited for Gryffindor. Mmm... not too bad an intellect, maybe a Ravenclaw?'

'Gryffindor, Gryffindor, Gryffindor,' she mentally chanted.

'Not happening, I am the Hat and I make the decision here,' the Hat "spoke", and somehow she knew it was frowning.

'Yes Ravenclaw would work. Hufflepuff? No... you do like to do your work, but for you it's a goal to an end, not a goal in itself. And while you do like to help others, it is only as long as they are willing to follow your command.  
'Huh... so there _is_ a bit of the commander, the leader in you.'

'So put me in Gryffindor already, as I asked,' the girl got a smug look on her face.

'Not quite yet... I still think you'd be better suited for Ravenclaw. But oooh... what's this? You plan to change the world to your liking? Such ambition hidden inside you, no I think it had better be Sly–'

'You finish that thought, and I come back with matches and oil!'

'You wouldn't... oh no, you would. But my dear girl, please listen. Do you even know what the four Houses stand for?'

'Yes. Slytherin is where the evil children go, Hufflepuff is for the underachievers and the lazy, Ravenclaw is for the socially awkward and the nerds, and Gryffindor is for the leaders and the brave. So I want Gryffindor.'

'Whoever filled your head with such garbage? Oh wait, there it is. "Hogwarts: a History"... I should have known. More like, "Hogwarts: a shit story".'

'Language!' the girl's eyes opened wide, not that anyone could see.

'Apologies my dear, but that book is, I cannot put it any other way, garbage. Batty Bagshot was a crazy bint even during her school days, a more Gryffindor witch you'll never find. So sure of her own superiority was she that she deemed all other Houses beneath her, and even looked down on her fellow Gryffindors.  
'No dear, that book is nonsense and you should not listen to it. So can we get on with it yet and will you allow me to sort you properly?'

'Yes Mr Hat, so put me in Gryffindor so you can sort the rest.'

'Argh!' The girl knew the hat would be pulling out its hair, had it some. 'Am I speaking Welsh again? I mean, I know Godric was from what we now call Cornwall and Rowena from Pictland, but the spells they put in me would make sure I always spoke the native language of whatever witch or wizard's head I would be placed upon.'

'No Mr Hat, I can perfectly understand you,' the girl said. A slight smile appeared on her lips.

'Thank you dear,' the hat sighed. 'Very well, I can see your objection to Slytherin. With your family history and the current state of the House, perhaps we'll skip it.  
'Hufflepuff, no I am sure that House is wrong for you.'

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome. So that leaves us with your future House, Raven–'

'Gryffindor!'

'Will you let me finish all ready! You are not impulsive, you are not reckless, you are not a bully, you are only a bit of a leader.  
'But you, my dear, are one of the smartest witches I have seen in years. You like reading, you like learning for learning itself, and you are capable of leaps of logic. Rowena would have been proud to have you as her apprentice.'

'Thank you Mr Hat.'

'You're welcome. As such, your natural home is in the House of the Intelligent.'

'But that's not the House of Harry Potter.'

'I fail to see the relevance.'

'Well let's look at it another way, shall we?'

'Gladly. You have thus far failed to convince me of why I should sort you in a House you are not suited for.'

'Consider this, Mr Hat. You sort me into Ravenclaw. Over the next few years my leadership skills come to play, and I take control of the House. Upon graduation, as I am "just" a Ravenclaw, I will not be able to become Minister for Magic, and my best option will be to join the Ministry as a researcher in the Unspeakables. You know I will not settle for that.'

'True,' the Hat admitted, 'but still, there are other options.'

'Quite. One such option, and I believe the most likely one, is that I will become a Dark Lady. With my intellect, and my crew of followers I will have cultivated as the natural leader of Ravenclaw, I will be able to take over Wizarding Britain in no time, and soon after that, the Muggle side as well.'

'You... you wouldn't. You don't have such cruelty in you, or I would have sorted you into Slytherin immediately.'

'Thank you for that admission, I was wondering why the most evil students ended up in that House,' the girl said with a smug tone.

'It doesn't work like that,' the Hat sulked.

'Any way... no I won't start killing left and right, but I _will_ overthrow society and rebuild it according to how I think is best. And no large scale societal revolution, even one with the best intent, is fully bloodless.'

'Hmmpf. Suppose I accept that, and I must admit, your psyche does suggest it is plausible, why would that convince me to sort you into Gryffindor? At the moment, I feel more for Slytherin again.'

'Oh Mr Hat, we both know if I ended up in Slytherin, there would be student deaths before my fifth year.'

The Hat somehow sighed, 'True.'

'Well, if you sort me into Gryffindor House, I will become a friend of Harry Potter. He will need my guidance to survive, and as such I will become his beacon in life even as caring for him will become my main focus. Therefore after I graduate, I will still be focused on him, and likely become his wife. I will become the power behind the throne, so to speak, as I guide Harry to begin the revolution I would otherwise have started on my own.'

'But that would lead to the same result. By your own words, no revolution is fully bloodless.'

'True, but whereas one lead by me as a Dark Lady would mean anyone who disagreed would probably end up either in prison or in a grave, with Harry Potter, heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter leading it, the group most likely to oppose a Ravenclaw Dark Lady will instead be more than willing to join up with the Lord Potter. The only victims in this revolution will be those that are actively harmful for society.  
'I believe you tend to sort those into Slytherin.'

'Not fully correct, all Houses have their rotten apples, and Slytherin has multiple students who really are focused on their ambition, without being evil.'

'Still, you know I am right.'

'I'm afraid you have convinced me. So that is the final word then? No to Ravenclaw?'

'I don't suppose you could make it so I still have access to their Common Room? The private library sounds delightful.'

'No my dear, that is not possible. I'm very afraid you will be the downfall of –'

'GRYFFINDOR', the Hat shouted out loud, and the little girl took off the Hat, and walked to her new seat.


End file.
